The Wildest Things We'd Ever Seen

Song: Bobby Jean
Album: Born in the USA
Year: 1984

This song kicks off with a conversation with Bobby Jean's mom, but then she's never mentioned again, so here's a fun game: picture Bruce performing this song dramatically while she just waits there awkwardly to finish up.

"Maybe you'll be out there on that road somewhere, in some bus or train traveling along!!!!!" Bruce wails, flinging his body dramatically onto the dinner table where the rest of the family is pretending he doesn't exist and enjoying their tuna casserole in peace.

Bobby Jean's mom hands him his denim vest, a polite-but-firm gesture indicating that he should leave now. "She's just at the mall."

He slams his fist against the wall, and wipes away a tear from his eye with that classic Bruce Red™ bandana, and gives a throaty whisper: "Know I'm thinkin' of you with all the miles in between." Then he pulls out a saxophone he smartly stashed under the love seat on his last visit to Bobby Jean's family home and plays a sweetly sad solo because of COURSE there's saxophone, do you not understand how LONGING WORKS?!

It probably isn't his best and most impressive interaction with an older woman in the course of his discography, but  at least he didn't abandon this one on the side of the hot highway, so we'll call it progress.

This makes me feel: SO GOOD TOP NOTCH BRUCE A+

Rating: 9 walks in the rain out of 10! Add this bad boy to my Best of Bruce list!

Fun Bruce fact: Looking up Bobby Jean on Wikipedia (because I am a research professional), I was alerted to this astonishing news: "In recent years, crowds, especially in Europe, have taken the habit of arm-waving in unison throughout the song." It really makes you reflect on the incredible impact the internet has made on our lives.